My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Found the puke drawer
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
