I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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