I hate all girls vehemently.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
