she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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