walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He shit in the fireplace
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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