Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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