Your tits are I can't wait for
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
PANTIES FOUND
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