it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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