You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
