ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
