I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
