you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Come on in and take your pants off
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