I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
