Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
