you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Randomize