I just threw up on my dentist
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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