Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize