me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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