I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
