you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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