when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
