go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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