Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the liver wants what the liver wants
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
