thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
What a dumb baby whore.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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