somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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