Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
