member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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