i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Come share oat with me in your robe
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
