Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
