i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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