I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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