you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
