so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
