dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
