i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
