I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize