btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
