for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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