I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
