I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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