Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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