Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
