Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
