is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize