nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
