Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
