I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
