It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
