I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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