btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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