Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize