It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
