no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
