Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm at about main and main street
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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