How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
