My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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