Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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