Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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