She said her name was "party"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
