If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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