My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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