just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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