Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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